空靈的心

it's been a long time since i've actually blogged something.

this seems like a good start again. not exactly sure what i want to post about, but i guess i can start with my summer.

i've been feeling kinda nostalgic lately. looking at people's pictures, seeing them traveling around during summer, having a good time. makes me think about myself and my position. i don't think i regretted taking summer quarter, but just felt like i wanted to travel too, and have some fun during summer instead of thinking about having to go to class tomorrow. makes me think about how in 10 or 20 years, i want to remember that during my college summer years, i went somewhere and did something fun instead of just school.

i keep telling myself i made a good choice of taking summer classes, that i will be ahead of people and making good use of summer time. and not everyone's on vacation. but, i just think about it sometimes and wish i coulda at least gone on a trip somewhere or something. do something fun for few days.

this also made me think about back when i was a child in taiwan, everyday seemed to be so much fun. there are just so many activities going on in taipei that you won't really get bored at all. the early morning market, under the sun, where i went with my mom to buy materials needed for dinner to the late night markets where we venture out to buy some fried chicken or stinky tofu. the early morning trip with my dad on he's bike to buy he's favorite traditional taiwanese breakfast of buns and soy milk to the secret noodle restaurant in an alley that i've never been to.

all those seem like a dream to me now. sometimes i wish i could experience those memories again. but it seems like the best i could get of those are in my dreams.

then waking up feeling nostalgic.

and the next thing you know, you're already 20 years old...

not even knowing what you're future is like, and whether you'll be able to support yourself, to be able to find a job, to get married and to think back about your life and be glad about the choices you made, or be sad about it.

i guess that's life.

perhaps i worry and think too much. sounding more and more like an old person. drats.

thats it for tonight.

nights.

alice